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The Rain Maker

RSS FEED IDEMS: The Rain Maker

• Teri Hatcher is no Beetle Bailey
  
  
  
  This is no Teri Hatcher , I assure you. This is no Desperate Housewives either. It's just Beetle Bailey by Mort Walker . With a Philippine-mention of course. The good news is it's not that insulting a remark. But still the Philippines is there....hehe. For a change...haha.
  Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:32:00 +0000
  
  
• I'm Officially a Participant
  
  
  I made it. Yeah...I made the cut. I am officially a participant in The 8th Tehran International Cartoon Biennial in Iran. So I'm endlessly praying for a flicker of hope that I will win in the the event. If not the grand prize....then a special prize at least....hehehe. So wish me luck and hope that the judges will be blind and consider my works worthy of a win. See that picture up there. Looks like I'm the only guy from the Philippines participating. There are currently hundreds of other participants from various countries so it's going to be a tough competition. The more the participants, naturally, the less chance I have in winning. But that really doesn't bother me much coz being included in the event is already a win for me, at least.
  
  Thu, 04 Oct 2007 00:45:00 +0000
  
  
• Erap is the Man
  
  
  
  Fri, 28 Sep 2007 03:36:00 +0000
  
  
• King Beer
  
  Wed, 26 Sep 2007 04:50:00 +0000
  
  
• The "Back Off" Affair
  
  MANILA, Philippines -- First Gentleman Jose Miguel “Mike” Arroyo has confirmed that he met with Jose “Joey” de Venecia III at a golf clubhouse, but said it was “a purely chance encounter” that did not include his ordering the businessman to “back off” from the National Broadband Network (NBN) deal. Instead what he said was "fuck off" and not "back off".
  Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:45:00 +0000
  
  
• 
  

  

  
  I read lots of magazines these days. I am not referring to those magazines with boobs, bras and bikinis splashed on the covers. I don’t buy and read men’s magazines because they are a waste of money. As much as possible, I want what I read and see to be free. So Internet p___ is good enough for me. It’s free and of course limitless and bottomless. It’s like one of those carinderias I frequent that offer bottomless sabaw.
  
  I read magazines that I believe will make me more less stupid. I’m on a quest to find those magazines that will help me escape the clasps of being a moron.
  
  That is why I read UTNE, an arts magazine, which is an acronym for Understanding The Next Evolution. It’s packed with very interesting articles on the arts, life and the human lifestyle. The literary selections are equally top-notch. That is why I’ve decided to share with you the highlights of a literary letter I really admired and enjoyed reading from the aforementioned magazine. I’m only going to quote phrases and a couple of paragraphs from the selection. If you deem it necessary to read the whole article, you better buy the issue or maybe visit the magazine’s website at utne.com but I’m not really sure if they maintain archives on that site. It is a literary piece in a letter from addressed to Condoleeza Rice.
  
  Dear Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice,
  “I wanted to let you know, in no uncertain terms, just how much I disagreed with your political positions, abhorred your relationship with the Bush clan, and anything else I could think of.”
  “Why did they care what I thought about you? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. These white people wanted me to do what I was planning to do with this letter: finger-point, neck-bob, and hand-wave. Call you a traitor or, worse, a “Tom”. Dog your personal appearance. And in doing so, I would be met with thunderous applause. On both the right and the left, black people publicly scolding other black people for being culturally or politically backward is what’s hot. “
  “Whether right or left, the message is, if you’re black and have something shitty to say about somebody else black, you’re likely to find an appreciative (and mostly nonblack) audience.”
  “All black people in the United States make choices and make more concessions, for we know that the battle for self-realization is never fully on our terms. “
  “And what I think about you and your chosen occupation is precisely this: Your ascendance to the role of secretary of state is, for me, simply what it is-a reflection of a racist society that isolates brilliant black people from themselves and forces them to serve America’s imperial interests. What happens next is that the left or the right, depending on which trajectory the black person has chosen, will use that person as an example of how politically or culturally misguided black people are. In my fight to rebel against that fate, I find that I too am trapped by the options. I have to do what I am also good at-which is to work to ensure that no other black children, traumatized by bullets and bombs, feel they have to abandon everything they know and love, and attack another black person’s limited options in order to save themselves."
  May you truly know peace,
  Kenyon Farrow
  Sat, 22 Sep 2007 02:51:00 +0000
  
  
• The War Of Pluto
  Hey. What's this? What's going on here?
  
  Thu, 20 Sep 2007 02:59:00 +0000
  
  
• Professional Thumb Wrestling Ring.........What the Hell?
  You know what, this beautiful planet of ours is getting weirder and weirder every minute. We do things we never thought a sane person would do. We make statues of Jesus Christ made of chocolate. We make wedding cakes from horse shit and cow dung. We make sweaters composed entirely of pubic hair. We run on the streets completely naked to prove to the world that we love peace. Just when did nudity become a representation of peace? Those naked runners are naked morons. We kill each other because we are bored. We eat, walk and sleep with wires dangling from our ears. We are but stupid slaves of the iPod, the MP3 , damn.
  
  But the good news is there are those totally outrageous things we do and make that are actually useful and quite practical. Take for example this thing which its creators call the Professional Thumb Wrestling Ring . It's very cool actually. I mean, who among us haven't played the thumb wrestling game one time or another. Everybody plays the game. If you insist that you haven't, you are an alien covered in human skin. Let's just hope the game doesn't make it to the Olympics coz that would totally render us insane and stupidly cute. Anyway why don't you check out these photos and think to yourself. There could be a career for you in here ladies and gentlemen. Who knows you could be the next THE ROCK THUMB or the HULK FINGER.
  Sun, 16 Sep 2007 05:40:00 +0000
  
  
• Some People Really Have a Lot of Free Time
  I really can't help it but agree with PAQUITO , a fellow blogger from Madrid, Spain when he said that "people have a lot of time". He said this with regards to the unimaginable happenings that some people really have the time to make rather long videos about Britney Spear's predicament now. These people I believe are more than obsessed about Britney. I can't blame them, I just can't understand the source of their obsession. Maybe these people have things in common with Britney's behavior lately. Drunk-driving, baby-driving, partying less the underwear. I really don't know what's wrong with her. She needs help obviously. But the thing is the "bitch' isn't helping herself. And ooooops she keep doing these things again and again. And know what...she just flashed her "you know" AGAIN. Less the underwear of course. Maybe she did it to cover up her critically-acclaimed Video Music Awards performance. Anyway, we people should stop this shit. Enough already. It's about time we start listening to the music and watching the videos of the real artists and the real musicians. Britney isn't an artist. Maybe she was years ago. But right now, she's a slut.
  
  So why don't we take a seat and watch this fan cry out his feelings about the whole thing. Cry, laugh, feel pity, laugh harder. I really don't care. But I laughed real hard...man I think this is quite worth the laugh.
  
  
  Sat, 15 Sep 2007 03:44:00 +0000
  
  
• The Long Lost Letter of Jack the Ripper
  "The Jews are not men to be blamed for nothing."
  Jack the Ripper
  
  Dear Boss,
  I keep on hearing that the police have caught me. But they won't fix me yet. I am down on certain types of women and I won't stop ripping them until I do get buckled. Grand job that last job was, I gave the lady no time to squeal. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear from me with my funny little game. I saved some of the proper stuff in a little ginger beer bottle after my last job to write with, but it went thick like glue and I can't use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope. Ha! Ha!
  Next time I shall clip the ears off and send them to the police, just for jolly.
  Jack the Ripper
  
  Sat, 15 Sep 2007 02:53:00 +0000
  
  
• The Biggest Hand in the World
  There are those times in our lives wherein we encounter something that is nearly impossible to believe. Something that seems to defy and goes all out against logic. Unimaginable could be the right word. Something that is shocking we either take our eyes off it or leave it all along. We usually watch these thing on TV( Ripley's Believe It or Not) and read them on books( Guinness ). Anyway these things which we often call freaks of nature always do take our utmost attention as we wonder at their freakishness. We go and watch them at freak shows and circuses. Some of us may find them funny and amusing, some feels pity for them, some thinks they are gross and they puke when they see one, while others feel nothing at all. Me? I kinda feel lucky that I am not in their situation. And if there is something I could do to help or at least ease their predicament, I'd do it. But for now I can't do nothing coz I'm currently a have-nothing guy.
  
  Anyway, I've found a picture here that most people see as a person who belongs to an ever-growing freaklandia. See for example this guy from China who reportedly has the biggest hand in the world. Look at the picture to really realize how really big that hand is. The guy just recently had undergone surgery and that 5 kilograms of meat and bones were removed from his freakishly huge hand. Read his story here. Biggest Hand .
  Fri, 14 Sep 2007 03:35:00 +0000
  
  
• Prince Charles is the New King of Comedy
  Who would have thought Prince Charles is funny as hell. I mean, a lot of people find him rather funny-looking. What's with the Rabbitic ears and the Rabbitic teeth. I have nothing against Prince Charles . He's serving the whole of England and the whole world for that matter with his charities and princely duties and responsibilities. But that would be another cause for discussion since this post isn't about Prince Charles the Prince and the Humanitarian. This post's about Prince Charles "The Comedian". In one of my Youtube adventures I found these priceless super-funny videos of Prince Charles. Fortunately, the guy is not Prince Charles but merely an impersonator in the person of Craig Ferguson who is by the way my favorite comedian and late night talk show host. Watch Craig do his stuff and let him break those ribs of yours. Anyway, enjoy the video clips, man.
  
  
  Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:16:00 +0000
  
  
• Naked Witchcraft
  When we think of witches, we conjure up images of of dancing women and mystically erotic orgies complete with wax burning ceremonies around huge bonfires. Then check this National Geographic segment on Naked Witchcraft and all your enchanted fantasies kind of fizzle out. It’s well worth a watch either way, if not for the spooky fact that grown folks actually run around the forest naked while howling at the moon. But let me warn you now, these pagans did stir a few naked old wizards into the mix too.
  
  Mon, 10 Sep 2007 09:51:00 +0000
  
  
• 7 Easy Steps on How to Become Famous and Popular in the Philippines.
  
  
  
  Many actions calculated to procure fame are not conducive to ultimate happiness.-Joseph Addison
  1. Go look for a billboard. Any billboard will do as long as it's high enough that even Stupid Spidey Man will be afraid to climb it. Not even Spider Pig would be brave enough to scale it.The higher the billboard, the better. At least for your quest for fame. And one more thing...make sure the steel support is free from rust. You don't wanna die from tetanus, do you. Rust kills, remember that.
  2.Climb the billboard. And don't fall.
  
  3.When you reach the top of the billboard, shout to the people below that you climbed it because it is your intention to jump and spread your blood and brains on the pavement below. Remind them that you are planning to commit suicide because your girlfriend dumped you or you caught your wife sleeping with a man other than you. That means another man. Tell them that you are serious. It may not be necessary but it would help if you try to cry like a baby. Please don't do a Willie Revillame or no one will believe you. A tear or two will do but if you can cry a bucket, why not. It's your eyewater, not mine. But don't cry by the drums or you'll die of dehydration.
  
  4. Now, stay put and wait for the cops and media to arrive. Just wait and listen to the police sirens and see if the video cameras have arrived.
  
  5. Be very patient. Don't jump nor slip.
  
  6. Let the cops climb up like monkeys to you. Let them talk to you. Let them coax and convince you to come down. Let them plead to you while you laugh inside your stomach. Fools. Stupid crocodiles, tell yourself that. And smile, not with your face but with your small intestines.
  
  7. Give yourself a pat on the back and come down. Or to be more dramatic let the cops carry you down the billboard. And keep sobbing and keep your eyes teary.
  
  That's it. See, very simple. Piece of cake. You will be famous in no time. I guarantee, you will be on today's evening news. Either Mike Enriquez or Julius Babao will be reporting about you and millions of fellow Filipinos will be watching your sorry predicament.
  
  Note: If the media doesn't arrive, there is no way you will be famous. So I suggest that you jump. JUMP! A man who dropped dead from the sky is bad news. But the good news is that the media loves bad news. So JUMP and be famous. Moron.
  
  And one more thing, carry a gun with you just in case one of the cops become hostile and want to end the circus the easy way which is shoot you down to earth. But then again that would be totally unnecessary. But then again, to be sure, be a boy scout who is always ready.
  Thu, 06 Sep 2007 04:27:00 +0000
  
  
• Of Peace and War
  "It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace."
  
  -Andre Gide

  
  
  

  One of my blog posts received a comment from a fellow blogger stating his views on the issue of war being necessary for the attainment of peace. He also suggested me a "simplistic catch phrase I SHOULD take stock in". The "simplistic catch phrase" states:'The price of peace is eternal vigilance'. And yes, I totally agree with him. We have got to be vigilant at all times, everyday, every minute of our lives coz we will never know. The next bomb attack could be in the bus we are in or the next kidnap victim could be our daughter. Our parish priest could be gone in sixty seconds. BUT. Wouldn't it be much better if we live our lives without these thoughts of kidnappings and wars bothering us. I know this is like shooting at the moon. It could be improbable, impossible actually. As he said, "it is never that easy". Again, I totally agree. Peace can't be attained by just saying "let's make love not war".

  
  

  He is a soldier, a marine with decades of service to the nation. For that I owe him a lot, for that I am very grateful. For that I respect him in all honesty. I respect our fellowmen donning the military uniform. In fact I wanted to take the PMA exams but my family didn't want me too. I wanted to be a soldier just like him. Then why am I anti-war, you may ask. Because I want peace. It is my dream. It is what I want for this country. It is what I want for Iraq. It is what I want for everybody. Again, it is not that easy. Yes, it is impossible but I want it anyway. I want peace, I want a miracle. Impossible is nothing(ADIDAS). If saying "give peace a chance" is insulting, then I'm sorry. I didn't know what I'm talking about.And I am not ignoring the fact that hundreds of thousands of soldiers died in war for peace's sake. I have an uncle who died in Minadanao, I didn't ignore that. I am not a soldier. I don't know how the military works. I don't know how a soldier feels. But I know a soldier's life is dangerous. A soldier is a hero, that I know. Anyone carrying a gun is meant to be in constant danger. And that is something most people are afraid of. But a soldier carries it anyway. I am a freeman because of him.

  
  

  I read a lot at the library on history. World War I, World War II, Churchill, Roosevelt Patrick Henry, the American soldier, the Filipino soldier, the German soldier, the Cold War, biographies. They are my inspiration. They have my complete respect and I look upon them as events, stories and people worthy of being looked up to....as memorials, as heroes, as kings, as inspirations, as Gods even. They gave us the world that is today.

  
  

  But we don't have to go through what they went through. Again? So when's the next Nagasaki? Tomorrow? Where's the next Hiroshima? Manila? I hope and wish there will never be. Let's keep Nagasaki and Hiroshima in the history books. Never again, never again.

  
  

  Soldiers died, civilians died in war in order to have peace. Does it have to be always this way?

  Kill that guy so he wouldn't kill you.

  Bomb that country before it bombs your own country.

  Let's hijack a plane and fly it into Malacanang Palace.
  Let's put these bombs under the bus seats and see how their brains are blown out to pieces. Then let's laugh.

  Let's give our son a military uniform and send him out to war, with tears in our eyes.

  Let's ambush those camouflaged guys and take their heads.

  Let's find a tourist, kidnap him and make lots of money.
  Let's wiretap the president and be popular.

  Let's declare an all-out war in Mindanao.

  Let's cheat.

  Let us not cheat because if we do, we lose money.

  Let's go to the streets and protest and have a rally, we don't even know why we are protesting.
  Let's buy a gun coz it looks very cool.

  
  

  You may say I'm sweet-talking and easily-fooled by simplistic slogans and truisms. Thank you.

  
  

  I mean,COME ON! There has got to be a better way to do this. Nobody dies. Nobody gets his head cut. Nobody carries a gun. Nobody makes bombs. Nobody hears gun salutes. Nobody cries. Nobody goes to prison. Nobody becomes a widow. Can't we do this?

  
  

  Everybody goes home happy.

  But then again, it's never that easy. So I guess let's keep it that way. Huh? Let's wait for the time when peace is so easy, it's a walk in the park. Then let's say, why don't ya give peace a chance, brother.

  
  

  Do you know what astonished me most in the world? The inability of force to create anything. In the long run the sword is always beaten by the spirit. Soldiers usually win battles and generals get the credit for them. You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war. If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.

  
  

  -Napoleon Bonaparte
  
  Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:52:00 +0000
  
  

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