Annoying Stuff.com
Those little things that simply annoy people -- or sometimes just me.
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- I Really, Really Hate Flying Spiders
The last thing the world needs is a flying spider but nevertheless, they exist.
Recently, while engulfed in writing from the comfort of my couch, something in my periphrial vision caught my eye. When I turned my head to see what it was, I notice a large black spider making its way down my vertical blinds. Its body was the size of your average shirt button. Large as far as spiders go in my area.
Now, I don't much care for spiders and I'm not at all concerned about the political correctness of it. All spiders in my house must die. It's an unwritten rule. My warning to spiders entering my home is liken to the words found in Dante's Inferno, "Abandon all hope, ye who enters here." My dislike for spiders came about when, as a teenager, and friend of mine almost died as a result of a spider bite from a seemingly harmless wood spider that caused blood poisioning.
So, along comes this spider, who obviously didn't get the memo. When I first turned to see what it was, the spider instantly froze in its tracks. I hurried to retrieved my trusty non-PETA approved fly-swatter, fully intending on sending this spider back to his maker. The vertical blinds in my home cover a large window (about 6 feet high and 20 feet wide) which one of my couches sits in front of it and a large coffee table is situated in front of that. With fly-swatter in hand, I approached with every bad intention, ill will, and with malice aforethought. But amazingly, as I came around the coffee table, the spider turned its body to face me. "Oh no you don't," I declared as I cocked my arm back and slowed my approached. When I got within a foot of the spider, I fiercly swung the fly-swatter -- and, at that very second, the spider LAUNCHED! That's right! That son-of-a-bitch went airborne in my direction BEFORE I could land the "shock and awe" of my fly-swatter assault on him. It jumped from the vertical blinds, missed me, cleared my couch, cleared the coffee table, and landed on my living room floor (a good 6 feet away).
I don't care who you are, when a spider the size of button, or any size at all for that matter, jumps at you -- you're going to be a little stunned. Spiders don't generally come flying at you, except maybe in a movie by Ridley Scott (Alien) or John Carpenter (The Thing). We think of spiders as hanging around on webs waiting for dinner, NOT flying off after it! ...
Read this article in its entirety and to see pictures of the spider in question.
Copyright (c) 2006 AnnoyingStuff.com
Sun, 20 Aug 2006 23:12:00 -0700 - Used Up! A story of one man's will and another's perseverence
Tool Man vs. Computer Hacker. Who will win this battle of wills?
We've all come across an annoying "tool person" at sometime or another in our lives. Maybe it was your dad, spouse, boyfriend, or neighbor. You know the person, the one who cherishes tools above everything else. Every tool in its place, all cleaned, shiny, pristine and hanging meticulously on an outlined peg board nailed perfectly to the garage wall. Somehow they always knew you when you borrowed a tool, whether it be a screwdriver or a wrench and even if it was just for a few minutes. You'd think that that particular tool controlled the Earth's ability to properly rotate on its axis. Somehow, the screwdriver you borrowed is now ruined simply because you, not being a "tool person," tightened a screw with it. As if screw tightening was rocket science ...
Read this humorous article to see what happens when one such tool man meets the perseverence of a computer hacker in need of tools.
Copyright (c) 2006 AnnoyingStuff.com
Mon, 31 Jul 2006 09:45:00 -0700
