Ask Dog
Dating, marriage and relationship advice
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- Finding a hot girl in Alaska
Dear Dog, I am a 20-year-old single male who would like to have a hot girlfriend. I like playing my Game Boy Advance, watching anime cartoons, designing space colonies, and eating pepperoni pizza. Next year I hope to enrol in fashion school as my dream career is to be a bikini swimwear designer. I have had [...]
Sun, 17 Jun 2007 08:47:54 +0000 - Would I be one up if I married the spinster daughter?
Dear Dog, My boss is not very smart. Actually, he is exceptionally stupid. He only got where he is today because he is the illegitimate “love child” of the company Founder/CEO. As such, it is unlikely he will ever be fired for his stupendous incompetence. My question for you is: if I married the founder’s legitimate, but [...]
Sat, 16 Jun 2007 14:23:19 +0000 - Cheating on my husband with a married man
Dear Dog, What do I do in a situation where I’m cheating on my husband with a married man? I know this is morally wrong but the relationship went great at first with my lover, and now he’s always busy, and doesn’t have time for me. I want to continue this because I think I’m in [...]
Fri, 15 Jun 2007 14:04:36 +0000 - Plastic surgeon makes improvements
Dear Dog, I have been married for ten years to a wonderful, generous and successful man. He is the most renowned plastic surgeon in New York, and I work as a waitress at Mick’s Irish Deli. Over the years I have used all my waitressing income paying my husband to do “improvements” on me. Pretty much everything [...]
Thu, 14 Jun 2007 12:36:45 +0000 - Beautiful Teenage Non-Beauty Ideas
Dear Dog, I am a 16-year-old girl with a huge problem. I don’t want to sound vain but I am unusually beautiful. My looks seem to intimidate boys speechless and make girls green with envy. I am a nice friendly person but I have few friends and that really hurts. I hate how I look and [...]
Wed, 13 Jun 2007 22:13:19 +0000 - Normal for nice people to think about injuring obese grocery shoppers?
Dear Dog, My mother isn’t a very nice person. She does have many qualities but niceness certainly isn’t one of them. She will go out of her way to try to upset strangers — it has become a hobby which brings her hours of pleasure. I’ve always found her behaviour very embarrassing. Looking back, I think I’ve [...]
Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:13:39 +0000 - Best guy in the whole world was all mine
Dear Dog, I am an upperclassmen in high school and last year everything was going so great for me: captain of the dance team, great grades and most importantly, the best guy in the whole world was all mine… Nick was so great; I can truly say that he was my first love. He had some [...]
Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:48:23 +0000 - Dating someone who is twice my age
Dear Dog, I am 20 years old and my best friend says it is wrong for me to go dating someone who is twice my age. What would you do? Is it wrong for me to date a older guy? - Fey in Temecula, CA Dear Fey, You should listen to your friend… The odds of a 40-year-old having a meaningful [...]
Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:04:25 +0000 - Is it ever right to squeal on a friend?
Dear Dog, Is it ever right to squeal on a friend? My friend confided that she is involved in something horrific. I’ve asked her to stop but she has been seduced by the big money involved. Realizing she shouldn’t have told me she has since offered me hush money. She works as an embalmer at a funeral [...]
Sat, 09 Jun 2007 12:34:44 +0000 - He has not asked me to marry him yet
Dear Dog, I have been dating a man for 3 years. We have both been married before. In every other way he is committed to me, but has not asked me to marry him, even though I have made it very clear that I desire a permanent commitment from him. Should I give him a time frame, [...]
Fri, 08 Jun 2007 04:02:57 +0000 - Infatuation with actress Kate Hudson has become a problem
Dear Dog, My infatuation with actress Kate Hudson has become a problem. She has taken over my life. While my wife knows I’m a fan she has no idea of how completely Kate Hudson controls my mind. Kate occupies every waking moment and fills my dreams with erotic thoughts. I am her slave. A small part [...]
Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:55:43 +0000 - Freshman girl in high school who has a terrible crush
Dear Dog, I am a freshman girl in high school who has a terrible crush on my married with children 26-year-old literature teacher… What should I do? - Freshman in Sunnyvale, CA Dear Freshman, If he’s even “half-a-man” there is absolutely nothing you could ever do… Even if you acted upon your most twisted fantasies… For you to even try to [...]
Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:08:55 +0000 - Been looking for love without success
Dear Dog, I’ve been looking for love without success. I’ve always let the real me be very accessible thinking that eventually I’d meet somebody who appreciated who I am. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m starting to wonder if I should hide more of the real me. Perhaps if I pretend to be somebody I’m not I can be [...]
Tue, 05 Jun 2007 12:23:51 +0000 - Both my son and my daughter are currently unemployed
Dear Dog, Both my son and my daughter are currently unemployed. Yes, they are students but that is getting pretty old… My son is barely literate to tell the truth. They have no job skills and no work experience… My wife still babies them no end. She even cleans their rooms and does their laundry! I don’t [...]
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 05:06:54 +0000 - How do I keep my woman for a long time?
Dear Dog, How do I keep my woman for a long time? - Stan in Weslaw, Ohio Dear Stan, There are only two options: freezing or embalming… If you mean how to keep a woman in a relationship for a long time… There is only one option: realize, and resign to the fact that she is the boss, government and [...]
Sun, 03 Jun 2007 05:05:45 +0000
