Scudfish
Lists of amazing and insignificant things... and my dreams
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- The only places where they haven’t found semen on the TV show C.S.I.
Inside a tuba. On a piece of toast. Beside a sign that says “No entry!” Under a dead rhino. In some guy’s hand.
Thu, 13 Sep 2007 08:58:39 +0000 - Star Wars items I would bid on if I found it on eBay
Housetrained Wookie. Princess Leia’s hair buns. Operational Death Star. Mint condition and fully functional Lightsaber, with a car charger. Jar Jar Bink’s brains in a jar.
Thu, 13 Sep 2007 02:00:47 +0000 - Horrible things you will hopefully never have to experience
Getting your eyeballs stolen by an Elvis impersonator. Dancing With The Stars — The Movie. Charlize Theron goes down on her knees for you, and trips a landmine. Accidentally adding Dijon mustard to your enema. George W. Bush gets elected for a third term.
Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:42:27 +0000 - Names of the four remaining lobsters at the supermarket
Eeny. Meeny. Miny. Mo.
Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:18:15 +0000 - Ways to trap a mermaid
Rub yourself all over with a smoked mackerel and swim around like a wounded seal pup. Serenade the ocean using 1980’s power ballads, without throwing up and polluting the water. Catch her uncle, the giant haddock, and hold him ransom. Eat a huge bowl of chilli and pretend to be part of an oil slick. Put a big fat [...]
Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:38:01 +0000 - We are not really gay
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Tue, 11 Sep 2007 06:45:30 +0000 - Things you might read in a letter from an Inuit pen pal
We went seal clubbing ove the weekend, and I got to eat a piece of the liver and some eyeballs. I’m happy today as we are finally getting a second TV channel, and the coolest part is that it will be broadcasting dog shows 24 hours a day! Good news! The bully I told you about had a snowmobile accident [...]
Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:50:57 +0000 - Steve Philips rarely gets laid
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Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:45:32 +0000 - KKK toddlers’ trickiest letters
W — “Wop” — Begins with W. J — “Jap” — Begins with J. G — “Gook” — Begins with G. S — “Squaw” — Begins with S. C — “Klan” — Begins with C.
Sun, 09 Sep 2007 13:43:08 +0000 - The earth trembled (Dreams)
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Sun, 09 Sep 2007 12:23:25 +0000
